….Nostalgic
22 Oct 2009 Leave a Comment
My friends are the people who will be there no matter what, but sometimes, I just don’t want to involved with their problems. It’s not that I don’t care…It’s that it hurts me. As I have said before, I live life like a hippie. So tell me, how would I do that if i have such a burden in my heart. I love them to death and I want them to be happy, but like what one of them told me before, “What about myself? Im starting to forget to worry bout what’s going on with me.” We are similar like this. You see, I’m the type who would overthink things for a long time. I take in all their problems and try to absorb all their pain, sorta like an empathy sponge. I know they would do the same for me, but It’s not like I have problems, so isn’t that like a one sided benefit. At least there’s one person who I understand. I don’t mind if … tells me everything. Unlike the others, … is reluctant in burdening me. He would just tell me when it gets critical. I applaud how strong that person can be. In a way, I look up to that figure.
I have avoided all of them for a while, and it was difficult. Although it did help me. I needed a break, and I’m glad I took one. However, I did not expect such a change to occur. I can’t comprehend with what’s going on or on how much people has changed. I hate this change, and I hate what they have become. I remember one of the promises I made…”We can’t be like those girls.” I guess it’s true what they say, “Promises are meant to be broken.” Ha! and to think that I actually believed we could disprove that. I can’t believe I was that naive. It’s painful to see them now. It kills me slowly day by day. Haru Haru…when will it end…but i guess high school never ends, it goes beyond 2k12, I just gotta learn how to roll with the punches…haru haru…I become stronger because of them…haru haru…I learn to help them…haru haru…I get more confused…haru haru…I want to stab them…haru haru…I understand them…haru haru…everything fades away…haru haru…I’m left different realities. Not knowing when the shifts are made or when personalities are altered, that’s not what scares me. My greatest fear is knowing all these and getting lost…losing myself in the sea of life. This is my reality, my afflicted reality.
