All Must Fall Apart
26 Aug 2010 1 Comment
Everything must eventually meet its time. ”Soon we will be nothing but dust and wind.” Just like us, promises will also fall apart. Together with that, trust and friendships will falter. This is what hurts the most. Your expectations are lifted, but suddenly they just drop it..just disengage it like a bomb. What I can’t stand is seeing how easy it is for them to do. Ignorance, selfishness, proprietary interests…how could I have not seen it before?
My loyalty may be questioned, but my moral judgement is something that must be compensated with. I will stand by your side, but like most humans, I also reach a point of limitation. How can I pretend like nothing happened? How can I continue on without trust?
Honestly…I’ can’t….I just can’t, and that’s the only thing I’ll apologize about. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I can’t forget your actions. I guess it’s true that mistakes make greater impacts than achievements.
We had a joyous friendship, and I’m still glad that out of all these, there were hints of happiness. It’s difficult making friends, but what’s more difficult is ending it. Difficult yes, but it’s the path I’ll take.
My Butterfly
23 Oct 2009 Leave a Comment
in Fangirl^_^
I saw…I listened…I watched…I rapped, I fell in love. Kwon Ji young was born on August 18, 1988 in Korea. At a very young age, he fell in love too. Unfortunately, it was not with me x( He fell in love with music, hip hop music to be exact. While elementary students were playing in playgrounds or coloring picture, Ji Young was busy writing in his lyric notebook. He was probably thought of as a strange kid back then. No one would have expected that this young child would work and persevere until he finally reached his dream. When the opportunity came that he met a famous producer, he did not hesitate. “I want to rap,” he says. No one was quite sure what this boy was capable of, but they were definitely not disappointed. Who knew this little rugrat would grow up to be one and only G-Dragon.
Three years has passed since his big debut with his group “Big Bang,” and they undeniably met up to their name. Despite how much fame they gained together, it was time to see if they could make it on their own. As expected, they did. GD has released his very first solo album this year on his 22nd b-day and even though there were countless critiques and bad publicity, it was apparent that he could stand alone as an artist. He had an immediate recognition on its first week out, and many more afterwards. His debut shows just how versatile and adept he really is. Not to mention, he also showed his soft and sensitive side in one of his songs from the album.
“Butterfly” is undoubtedly a personal favorite of mine and GD has also admitted that it is a song he really likes. Unlike his other songs, butterfly is mellow and calm. It falls into the acoustic category but you also get this unique psychedelic feel from it. Like you just want to get lost in GD’s voice and float on cloud9. It was simple yet indubitably captivating. It kinda gave you a “Hey There Delilah” epiphany. Everything about it made me want GD more and more. The song itself was one thing, but when I finally saw the music video, I was complete. It exceeded my visualization of the song. It was a 3minute&50second dream I did not want to be awaken from. Animated and artistically done, it is apparent that YG and GD has done it again.
After watching the video, I tell myself, “I MUST HAVE HIM!” 1:38 of the video just took my breath away. The animated him was cute and all, but it could not compare to the 3 dimensional GD. His smile, his voice, his charm…how can anyone resist? GD has definitely made a name for himself, but it took a lot of work and determination. I do not just OVERLY LOVE GD for this, but I also greatly respect him as an artist because of it. I can’t tell what he will do next, but I’m sure whatever it is he is planning for his career, he will succeed remarkably. GD, my butterfly, will fly and soar gracefully no matter how strong the wind may maneuver him.
….Nostalgic
22 Oct 2009 Leave a Comment
My friends are the people who will be there no matter what, but sometimes, I just don’t want to involved with their problems. It’s not that I don’t care…It’s that it hurts me. As I have said before, I live life like a hippie. So tell me, how would I do that if i have such a burden in my heart. I love them to death and I want them to be happy, but like what one of them told me before, “What about myself? Im starting to forget to worry bout what’s going on with me.” We are similar like this. You see, I’m the type who would overthink things for a long time. I take in all their problems and try to absorb all their pain, sorta like an empathy sponge. I know they would do the same for me, but It’s not like I have problems, so isn’t that like a one sided benefit. At least there’s one person who I understand. I don’t mind if … tells me everything. Unlike the others, … is reluctant in burdening me. He would just tell me when it gets critical. I applaud how strong that person can be. In a way, I look up to that figure.
I have avoided all of them for a while, and it was difficult. Although it did help me. I needed a break, and I’m glad I took one. However, I did not expect such a change to occur. I can’t comprehend with what’s going on or on how much people has changed. I hate this change, and I hate what they have become. I remember one of the promises I made…”We can’t be like those girls.” I guess it’s true what they say, “Promises are meant to be broken.” Ha! and to think that I actually believed we could disprove that. I can’t believe I was that naive. It’s painful to see them now. It kills me slowly day by day. Haru Haru…when will it end…but i guess high school never ends, it goes beyond 2k12, I just gotta learn how to roll with the punches…haru haru…I become stronger because of them…haru haru…I learn to help them…haru haru…I get more confused…haru haru…I want to stab them…haru haru…I understand them…haru haru…everything fades away…haru haru…I’m left different realities. Not knowing when the shifts are made or when personalities are altered, that’s not what scares me. My greatest fear is knowing all these and getting lost…losing myself in the sea of life. This is my reality, my afflicted reality.
Reminisce of My Asian Addiction
07 Sep 2009 Leave a Comment
in Fangirl^_^
I will admit, I easily get addicted to things, but something about my Asian Addiction seemed to be more dominant than anything I’ve ever taken interest in. It’s funny how it all started. It was the middle of summer, and I was casually conversing(chatting) with one of my close friends. You see, we became really close due to the fact that we had the same taste in music. Because of this, he told me to check out a band called Asian Kung Fu Generation. He has always recommended good music, so I knew he was not going to disappoint me. I was quickly falling in love with their music which was odd because I never expected to be into music I didn’t understand (AKFG is a Japanese band). So anyways, I was happily listening to their music when I came upon the related videos section of youtube. I don’t precisely remember the videos I saw chronologically, but here it goes anyways. I first saw a link to a video from Wondergirls. I honestly hate them, but I was bored so I clicked it anyways. After that I saw a video from Bi/Rain….IT WAS HOTT!! lol After watching all those videos, I finally discovered this sweet little music video.
You see! HOW COULD I NOT TAKE INTEREST IN THE GUY?!?!? so yes, I guess you can say he began my intrigue for asian entertainment, but can you blame me? I MEAN….DID YOU WATCH THE VIDEO?!?! it was sooo sweet, yet substantially heart-breaking. I can still remember every emotion I had back then, which in my opinion is a sign of a truly beautiful and meaningful music video. You not just remember what you saw, but you also remember every sense that was triggered, every tingle of excitement or thrill that ran through your spine. Then afterward, you get the “aftershock,” the numb feeling impelled when you just realized you saw something you did not expect….something beyond words, an indescribable feeling that leaves you breathless. I remember it like it was just yesterday. I guess It’s silly how I felt so strong about a simple music video, but I cannot deny the effect that it left me with. When it ended, I just sat still with tears streaming from my eyes. I was so overwhelmed by the affliction. It was definitely worth watching, and I’m glad that of all the videos, this was the one that captured me the most. It makes me feel proud to say that I was not immersed in some childish wondergirls song. I went deeper than that…WAAAAYYYY deeper. Who knew that this solemn video would be the beginning of my crazy fangirl state. Thinking about it now, back then, I did not know what I was going to get myself into.
LaLaLa
29 Jul 2009 Leave a Comment
Life is found in Saipan, but my mind remains a vagabond. It wanders and creates curiosity and questions that to this day has not been completely answered. I sometimes find that my reality is beyond real. I look at it as a story that doesn’t seem to end. My story consists of important characters. So many have walked this unstable path with me and it was them who kept the balance in my life. Although sometimes, I just can’t keep the balance and when that happens, I can’t help but try to escape reality. I’d love to go to the moon someday. Nothing can compare to the serenity and peacefulness – the perfect haven…the perfect escape. There’s not much I can say, but new discoveries will be made and it is yet to be written.
